Disappointment. The big D word which people really don't like facing. I'm one of them. Life's definitely easier if all things go according to what is planned. Yes, all things really go according to His plan, but surely, it is easier if we know what's going to happen than when we plan things and end up sad and dismayed. It has happened to me more than twice. It's hard.
Expecting is deeper than planning. Planning, yes, you already have accepted slightly the idea of the plan failing. But with expecting, you really give yourself in to the sometimes quixotic idea that everything will go according to plan. And with planning, you have that chance of scheming a Plan B, but with expecting, you never will have this chance to think "What if...?", because you're usually blinded by the mere ideal that what you're imagining in that brain really will come true. With planning, when you fail, what you get is pure discouragement that what you've planned really isn't right, but with expecting, you really lose happiness and fulfillment.
Disappointment is a powerful and painful feeling, but at least after you experience it, you'll learn that it's better to have a alternative which is less prosperous than to expect, fail, and have nothing in the end. Maybe that's what God really is trying to tell us. That life's what we make it. We must go with the flow, but must not get dismayed when the flow takes us to roaring rapids, because it was our choice to go where it takes us. We must always remember to still, keep our path and turns clear so the flow would always guide us to where we "plan" to be.
Despise. I don't know why the word was even invented. Hate was a more appropriate word to substitute that certain feeling. But really, maybe Hate has its own road.
If you look at the dictionary. Hate and Despise have different meanings. Some dictionaries even clarify that they are different. So what's the difference then? Hate is to dislike intensely while Despise means to look down on someone or something. Ah. Get it. Despise is like a more specific process of hating. That which involves feeling superior over someone or something. Really clear.
That was another experience of mine. Hard, but I don't really care. That's because I know I'm going somewhere far without thinking of what they think of me. They feel superior, so what? I'm the lonely transferee who doesn't know anyone, and gets enough smirks and issues to be considered despised, so what? As I'm always saying, "After all that's happening, I'm proud to say, I'm still me. Still whole, still believing, and still dreaming."
Despise and Disappointment. Two things which are better not knowing, but are certain sources of experience and lessons.
God Bless. ;]
Lux in Domino!
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