Enough. Tama na. That's all I can say. For a blog written in five minutes, I think this is enough. I'm tired of being someone I'm not, trying to change myself just to make things seem 'normal'. If things like these are called normal these days, I certainly would prefer to act abnormally. What happened was enough. Again, it's all said and all done. I guess this is goodbye and good luck.

Actually, I just realized that instead of living with the fact that certain ambitions don't really happen in reality, I should cherish the time I have left with Jeddah. I hope this fantasy would die the moment I wake up tomorrow. 

Last statement: I thank you for this hopeless war. This made me a lot stronger. I'll be leaving Jeddah with higher hopes for what's in stake for me in the future. Thanks a lot.

To whom this may address to. Basta, I'm the only one who knows. This has multiple purposes na rin. Bato-bato sa langit, matamaan 'wag magalit. ;)

So, God Bless.

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Lux in Domino!

-CJ

This blog may seem a little cliche, but forgive my ka-cornyhan. I'll only say this once.

Did you ever feel that there's someone who has affected your life tremendously and you did so with theirs? One who knows something is up even if you don't mention a word? One who isn't very expressive(neither are you) but towards each other, you still manage to disclose your deepest feelings to?

A soulmate right? But a girl?! I'm a girl and my soulmate is also a girl?! No prob! There are many different types of soulmates. Spiritual, Companion, Twin, and Twin Flame. I think mine's my Twin Soulmate. It doesn't matter if she was a girl since a twin soulmate is defined as;

These types of soulmate are your closest friends or a person whom you really click with. According to those who believe in reincarnation, you have already met them in a past life, and in this life you are continuing the relationship. There is an emotional bond between these soulmates and each is able to sense the feelings of each other.

Mine's Jannis Wilma B. Padua! It doesn't matter if she feels the same way or otherwise, at least I could say that the time she has spent with me was definitely worth cherishing.

The very first day I saw her, grabe, I was such a jerk to think that she's just like any typical girl. The next few weeks, I tried to keep a distance from her since people called her temperamental and violent. She also did the same with me since all that she heard about me were nasty things that were partly true, but mostly not.

I didn't really expect that we would be this close since we're almost exact opposites. She likes rock, and I like classic. I like to smile, and she was often crabby(BEFORE!). She has a different set of friends that were miles apart from mine in terms of personalities and psyche. We were living in two different worlds. That's why it was merely possible for the two of us to even be friends.

But I think, what connected us was not our differences as two distinct people. What connected us were the things that we both like. The things which only the two of us can talk about. The things that we can't tell other people but each other, mainly because they couldn't connect or relate. Things that only she can understand and things that only I can.

Our friendship was never a one-way street. When we talk, there's more than just a nod. Our conversations could fly to a million topics until we finally decide to stop(occasionally, we stop when a teacher comes in or when we need to do something). I love to talk to her, basically because she has comments for everything I say. I'm naturally like that so no problem with the give-and-take.

What ba makes her different from every other girl in the campus? She's good in English, she's athletic, she's influential, she's popular, she's beautiful? No, not those things that other people see in her. Those things which are more than those which meet the eyes. Those things that were merely Jannis-like. It's like discovering another person in one human body. Those traits. I can't explain or define them, but you get the point.

She made me reveal my true self instead of hiding in a veil of hypocrisy. She uplifted my spirit into soaring higher. She taught me how to balance my school life and fun. She was there when I was depressed and never told me that I was acting so childish in times when I really know I was. She was the one who made me realize that life is beautiful if I think outside the box. I hope I gave the same impact to her life as well.

She really is my twin soulmate. Ewan ko, but there's really something which connects us and prevents us from fighting or arguing. I really can't believe I could find someone like her. I thought everyone else in the world wouldn't understand how I look at things. I'm not her best friend, yes, but I think the way I treat her is more than just a best friend. Like a sister. Like a soulmate.

Thanks for everything Jannis! Continue believing! Keep on moving, keep climbing, keep the faith! Don't worry, even though we'll be miles apart from each other, we won't be disconnected, I'll really try to talk to you every day. Lab You Pogi! God Bless you and your Family lagi!

Lux in Domino!

-CJ

Two weeks ago, I made my Multiply "Notes" panel similar to Twitter. But then I found out that people who weren't really meant to be reading those stuff were actually sent updates on them! So I finally created a Twitter account! Here's the direct link:

Maybe leaving Jeddah is a bad thing. But what can I do?! I've refused, maybe a hundred times, saying "Dito lang ako..." but they said it's the best for the family, so I finally agreed, which means I'll be leaving soon. :(

So many people to say goodbye to, so many different memories to leave behind, so many different locations I may never see again, and so many important pieces of who I am now to let go of.

These are just some of the few MAJOR changes that I have to accomplish in finding my way back home. Not to mention being separated from my father for over 4 months, studying in a whole new environment, and leaving Jeddah with an EXIT visa which means that I could not come here again sooner. It's hard but that's life. Sometimes you need to move on and accelerate to greater heights, and that, I think, is what our family is doing.

I'll miss everyone, everything, and every single place I'm leaving behind. Sorry if I have to leave you but I have no choice but to accede. May God Bless all of you as you continue living the Jeddah journey. Love all of you!

Lux In Domino!

-CJ